Divorce is never the plan. You didn’t take all those emotional and financial risks with the plan for it to end in divorce. No matter how many people claim, “divorce isn’t an option for us,” you know it wasn’t the plan for you either.
But then there are so many ideas of what divorce means and what is going to happen if you get a divorce. With so much advice and information, it can be difficult to separate good advice from bad. Someone else’s reality from what will be true for you.
Here are some common misconceptions with divorce.
It’s going to be messy
Of course, for some people, divorce can get complicated. But that’s only the story for some people. But just because the marriage isn’t working out doesn’t mean that the process is going to get mean and messy.
If you and your spouse are able to talk openly and honestly about how things are going to be split and how you want to move forward, then there are a lot of options for getting through the whole process without a lot of dramatic arguments.
A peaceful divorce can even be possible with children. Being willing to talk and negotiate what is important to you is essential in any discussion. This is also the case when you and your spouse are talking about child custody arrangements. The more the two of you are willing to work together, the easier it will be to get everything settled.
It’s going to be bad for the kids
No one wants to see anyone arguing. It doesn’t matter if it’s parents or friends or strangers on the street. People want to see each other getting along. The same is true of your kids.
Despite what some may say, divorce is neither good nor evil. It’s simply a method for dissolving a partnership that isn’t working the way it was intended. If the current situation is that there is perpetual arguing and the solution can be a situation where that stops, then that would be a better situation for everyone.
Everything is split 50/50
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married five years or five months, you’ve taken that time and worked on building a life together. In that process, there were purchases and gifts and any number of things that will need to find a home with one spouse or the other. In the process, there will be things that are unquestionably be the property of one or the other, but what about the other things?
If neither of you can agree, the court will help you reach a decision, but if you’re able to determine who gets what amongst yourselves, the process will be much simpler. But know that if you are unable to reach a decision, the court will not necessarily split things down the middle. It will, more likely, come down to who purchased it or who needs it.